Reflecting: On Being Twenty One

With my 22 birthday quickly approaching, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on my life as a 21 year old. When I was a child, I couldn't wait to turn 16 and 21. 16 was a cute age, but I really feel like I started living at 21. My 21st year was definitely a year of firsts. I finally received the push I needed to start this blog that I love so much (this blog was a long time coming), I met my wonderful boyfriend and entered into my first adult relationship, I visited two countries for the first time (China and Trinidad &Tobago), I got my first full-time job offer and began my career working for one of my favorite companies, graduated from college, purchased my first car and became what people like to call a real adult. I also became more independent, and encountered some of the hardest challenges and disappointments in my life. However, I received an abundance of blessings, triumphed over my struggles, and experienced moments of immense joy. Life is a series of highs and lows.

Being 21 taught me that growing pains are necessary for development. There were moments when life wasn't going my way and times when I felt unfulfilled and unaccomplished. I encountered rejections, battled depression, and made some tough decisions. Looking back, I'm grateful for my trials because they gave me strength and showed the greatness of my capabilities (with God on my side). 

Life as a 21 year old reminded me that people are fickle. Friendships and relationships will be tested, especially once people graduate from college and embark on their careers and new journeys in their lives. Those who genuinely value your friendship and presence in your life will show you. If not, take the hints; some relationships may need to be  re-evaluated. However, you also need to allocate time towards nurturing the relationships that are important to you. Everyone is busy, but smart busy people know the importance of prioritizing the things and people that matter to them. "You gotta understand the difference between someone who speaks to you on their free time, and someone who frees their time to speak to you." 

Self reliance is vital for survival but so is asking for and receiving help from others. If you have not experienced it already, being 21 will show you that there are things that you must go through alone and you will have no one to rely on but God and yourself. The people you thought would be there for you will let you down at times and you can't let that discourage you. Life is a journey and you will find that many of the people that will help you and guide you through your journey are not necessarily your friends or family. Be open.  

Twenty one showed me that adulthood is a juggling act. Balancing a full-time job, paying bills, maintaining a healthy social life, nurturing relationships, and pursuing your passions are not easy. I sometimes struggle with finding balance and it's frustrating. Right now, my career consumes me which makes it difficult to create time to blog and engage in other activities that are of interest to me. Time with my loved ones is very limited because of conflicting work schedules. Sometimes it gets lonely. However, I remind myself that my labor is not in vain. All the early mornings and late nights will be worth it. To those who have stuck with me, supported me, and spoken words of encouragement thank you!

Finally, being 21 has taught me to trust my journey and continue growing. I don't know what life holds for me but I know God holds my future. His grace has carried me through life and will allow me to thrive. Twenty two, I'm ready for you!

Thank you to my photographer Alfred Sarpeh. Full outfit post coming next!

When bad hair days become great head wrap days

Headwrap-H&M scarf

Bracelet-African Market

Sunglasses- JustMariklo

Top-H&M

Jeans-Ivanka Trump

Bad hair days are inevitable. If someone tells you that they've never had a bad hair day, they're probably lying lol. I wore my afro out for one day last week and it was glorious! It was one of those obnoxious 'fros that demand attention. You know, the kind of 'fro where you see the hair before the person and can't help but stop and admire. After wearing my hair out for hours, it was dry, tangled, and I honestly didn't have the time nor patience to style it for the next day. As a result, I turned to my time saver for the days when I don't get around to doing my hair: a head wrap. Head wraps allow you to look cute on your bad hair days without having to sacrifice style. Oh and some chic shades can only help your look! Traci Marie Smith of JustMariklo is one of the most stylish bloggers I follow, and her shades are always chic and unique! So, when I was scrolling down my Instagram feed last week and I discovered that she has an e-store for her sunglasses, I decided to treat myself to a pair. If you enjoy eye wear that stands out, check out her e-store and tell her I sent you!

Calm in the Midst of the Storm

Dress-H&M

Necklace-Charlotte Russe

Sandals-Nine West

I haven't been feeling calm lately. I've been feeling more anxious and stressed than anything. So I took some time to relax at the park. Enjoying nature always helps me to feel calm and at peace, if only for a moment. My hope for you this week is that you experience peace and calm in the midst of any storms that you may be experiencing in your life. If there is anything that is inhibiting  your peace, address it the best way you know how. Remember that hard times are temporary and the sun always shines after the storm. Have a blessed week!

What China Taught Me about Being Still and Counting My Blessings

Last December, my father invited me to accompany him to China. I  wasn't sure if I wanted to go until the week before I flew out. You see, for him China was an opportunity to attend a conference. For me, it was a chance to explore a country and continent I had never ventured to. I wanted to wander and see all the sights  I read and heard about over the years. When we arrived at out hotel in Shanghai on our first day, I was excited to be a "Shanghai girl" for a week and go sightseeing. However, I eventually realized that my trip was not going to go as planned. We weren't able to do any exploring on our first day in the country. Our second day was spent traveling almost five hours to the Chinese countryside cooped up in a car with 3 other people (2 of which were rather unpleasant). I was miserable to say the least. 

Around 10pm, we finally arrived at the resort where we would spend the next few days and it was absolutely beautiful. The Chinese countryside is honestly one of the most beautiful and peaceful places I have ever visited. It does not suffer from the magnitude of the pollution associated with China's big cities which allows for clean air and star visibility at night.The beauty of the place helped to lift my spirits. We were also treated to a very tasty and bountiful dinner. However, there was one big problem: the place was freezing. The resort was in the mountains and was clearly meant for summer retreating with its large open spaces. We ate dinner bundled up in our coats and scarves. However, things got really bad when I got to my room. Like the rest of the resort, the room was beautiful but extremely cold! The heat was broken and I had to to sleep in all my clothes, two pairs of socks, and two coats just to barely get warm. To make a long story short, I basically spent the next few days freezing and I did not enjoy my father's conference. To make matters worse, I  didn't get to explore much of the area or take very many pictures.  As the days progressed I became infuriated. I was stuck in a place where I wasn't happy with people I could barely communicate with (most of the Chinese could not speak English and I don't know Mandarin). I had no internet or phone service so I wasn't able to talk to friends and family back home or browse the web! I was so busy counting all my misfortunes, that I almost forget to count my blessings and thank God for the opportunity to experience a part of China:

1. The people at the conference were so kind and loving. They did their best to make sure my father and I were always comfortable and treated us with the utmost hospitality.  

2. I enjoyed plenty of traditional Chinese food which was both healthy and tasty. 

3. I made connections with people. While it was hard to communicate with most of the Chinese at the conference because of our language barriers, we were able to hug, sing, smile and communicate by deciphering what the other person was trying to say. 

4. I saw the beauty of the Chinese countryside; the people, the farms, the plants, the culture-I saw it all and I am so grateful for that. 

5. I spent my last day in China in Shanghai where I was able to buy some beautiful souvenirs for friends and family on Nanjing Road. If you've been following me for a while, you already know that I love to shop! Nanjing Road is the main shopping street of Shanghai (comparable to Time Square).

China taught me that sometimes you have to be still and accept the situations life places you in. While China was far from the ideal vacation, it was necessary. Looking back, China reminded me about the importance of gratitude. I was well fed, in good health, in warm company, and was able to experience another part of the world. Next time you find yourself in an undesirable situation, I challenge you to count your blessings before you open your mouth to complain. If you do that, I guarantee that you'll probably feel bad about wanting to complain in the first place. Then, you'll be open to learning whatever God and life wants to teach you while you're in that situation.   

When You can't Decide What Color to Wear

Dress-H&M

Belt-my closet (super old)

Shoes-Nine West

Have you ever had trouble choosing a color to wear so you decide to wear 'em all? Well, this was me last week. I was going to  Brooklyn and wanted to wear a dress with some pizzazz. Suddenly I remembered this dress was waiting to make an appearance for almost a year! That's right, I'm one of those shoppers who will buy something and not touch it until the right time, which could be a long time. I love colorful clothing but I wouldn't typically go for a piece that combines so many bright colors at once. However, I was drawn to this dress at first sight (the ruffled shoulder in particular) so adding it to my wardrobe was an easy choice. After all, it's good to step out of your style comfort zone at times. I could have dressed it up with some strappy stilettos but I chose to wear flats because I wore it to a cookout  that didn't have much sitting room and sometimes comfort comes first!

We are 90's OK.

T-Shirt-Zara

Flannel Shirt-Forever 21

Jeans-Forever 21

Necklace-Asos

Watch-Aldo

Sandals-Nine West

Hey all! I hope you had a good week. The past few weeks have been quite hectic for me between work and travelling. I have literally been flying almost every week and learning to adapt to new surroundings and situations. All in all I am learning and growing as a person and young professional and I'm grateful for that. As much as I love to travel, I can honestly say that I'm happy to not have to board a plane for a while. It felt so good to spend a full weekend in New Jersey. I enjoyed lots of home cooked food and went to a couple cookouts. My schedule has definitely taken a toll on my social life so I spent time with my best friends for the holiday weekend to make up for lost time. It's hard for all four of us to get together at once because we all have different schedules, so it's a celebration every time we link up! I wanted to be comfortable and casual so I kept my outfit relaxed. I was on Zara's website a few weeks ago checking out their sale (its pretty awesome by the way) when I spotted this T-shirt for a cool $7.99. Of course, I immediately placed it into my shopping cart because 1. I was born in the 90s (the best decade ever) and 2. the price was too good to pass up. If you haven't checked out Zara's sale yet, I encourage you to do so because the bargains will blow your mind! I also snagged a beautiful pair of multi-colored sandals from the sale that I'll share with you later.

Twenty goals to accomplish in my twenties

1. Earn a Master's degree. Education is very important to me because it has allowed me to expand my scope of knowledge and increase my skills. While I graduated with a Bachelor's of Science degree in finance in May, I definitely don't want to stay away from school too long because I know that obtaining a higher degree will allow me to advance my career.

2. Save at least $5,000 per year. I want to purchase a home at some point in the future and saving now will make that possible. I also enjoy travelling, which costs money. Thus, I want to be able to see more of the world without being limited by my finances.

3. Travel to twenty countries and/or cities that I haven't visited before. This may be a stretch with my work schedule, but I promised myself that I'll always make time to travel each year. Even if it's only for a few days.

4. Become financially independent. I have the luxury of living with my parents right now and plan to keep our living arrangement for at least two years because it allows me to live rent-free and save money. However, I want to be able to get an apartment in a couple years and be able to spoil my parents.

5. Expand theysayash.com. This blog is both a passion and outlet for me. I wanted to start a style blog ever since I began college. However, I never had the courage nor devoted the time to making it happen until last September because I was afraid to fail. Since, I've started this blog, I've been able to share my passion for fashion, travel, and life with you, my lovely readers. Hopefully, I have inspired you along the way and want to continue to inspire you to explore your style, travel, and do whatever it is that you want to do.

6. Stop letting fear hold me back. This will be ongoing for me. Fear has caused me to miss out on what could have been great opportunities. Everyday I pray for courage, strength,wisdom, and discernment. Those four things have already allowed me to overcome some fears and gain wonderful experiences.

7. Start a service program or organization. Aside from fashion and travelling, community service is one of my biggest passions. Helping others was instilled in me from a young age. All throughout high school and some of college, my family a few families from church, and one my best friends served food at a homeless shelter in New Jersey at least once a month. I also spent many Sundays over the past eight years volunteering at my church's soup kitchen. While my schedule has made it hard to engage in these activities as regularly as I would like, I still find ways to give back whenever I can and I want to encourage other young people to do the same.

8. Expand my network. There is something great about being around bright individuals who genuinely want to see and help each other succeed. I want to meet new people, share ideas, and be a source of support and even a friend to them.

9. Overcome obstacles. Life will always have obstacles. Starting a new job has taught me that obstacles will always come your way, but it is important to devise ways to get over them. Then, help someone who may be struggling with an obstacle that you overcame.

10. Love. I love to love and be loved. I want to continue making people feel loved. Sometimes it's hard to show love when people get under your skin. Remember that love is an action word.

11. Become more spiritual. I'll be the first one to say that I am not the world's greatest Christian. It's easy to get caught up in the rules of religion and still feel far from God. I want to read the Bible more and grow closer to God.

12. Grow. Growth is crucial for personal and professional development. I want to continuing entering into situations that will allow me to grow. I never want to become stagnant.

13. Learn. I firmly believe that if you're not learning, your not living. I strive to learn something new everyday and I always do, not matter how big or small it may be. When I make mistakes, I try to reflect on what I did wrong so that I do not make the same mistake again.

14. Maintain a positive attitude. I smile often and do my best to think positively and say positive things. I find that when I smile a lot and maintain a positive attitude, my day tends to go better. I also love to brighten other peoples' days. Simply smiling and being nice to people can really brighten their day.

15. Exercise gratitude. It's so easy to get caught up in the problems of life that we forget to be thankful for all the goodness we have.

16. Exercise. You've only got one body, so treat it well. I'll admit, I don't like exercising, but I value myself and I want to get into shape.

17. Help people. I am where I am today because people have helped me through this journey called life. People help me everyday with their kindness, sharing knowledge, giving encouragement and support, etc. I want to always find ways to help people.

18. Give. I think it's safe to say that everyone has given at some point because they expect something back in return. However, someone once told me that the best kind of giving is when you give without expecting anything back in return. I have given without expectations, and it's actually a wonderful feeling.  Sometimes it's hard not to want something back in return. So I want to give more just for the sake of giving.

19. Get promoted. My career is important to me and I want it to thrive. Work hard even if no one is watching. I firmly believe that good things come to those who work

20. Enjoy life and have fun! Life is too short not to enjoy it. I encourage you to make time to do something at least once a week that you enjoy doing.